Too Busy Communicating to Stay in Touch

"I'll call you." "Blackberry me!" "Send me a text." "Check your e-mail, I sent you such a funny joke." "I was IM'ing"

Think back 10, 15, 20 years. If that pre-schools or pre-wombs you-- show this to your parents. Seriously, what did we do before we had a mobile, a pager, a portable, and means for each to communicate if one was down?
Reach out and touch someone? Heck, we can reach out and grab, hold, slap around, kiss, coddle, console, and hug someone whenever we want.

"I remember back in the day" I say in my 80-year-old man voice "when we only had one phone in the house. And it was connected to the wall with, now, kids- you may not believe this, but it was connected to the wall with, a CORD!" "Did you see Napoleon Dynamite? Yup, that's what it was like. A phone on the wall and that "jump-rope" looking cord holding you from getting too far away. We didn't even own the phone. It was on lone to us from Ma Bell!" "Heck, I still remember my home phone number. 654-1007! "What? You need a "1" before it? Oh, only if you're dialing from outside Heber Valley. Now who would want to call from "outside" the valley?" Area code? Well, it's "801" if you must ask. But I can't imagine anyone from another state ever wanting to call here. That's long distance don't you know?" Ring. Ring. "Hello" "Hello Kent, this is your brother calling from Michigan." "WHAT? I CAN BARELY HEAR YOU". "I SAID, THIS IS YOUR BROTHER CALLING FROM MICHIGAN." "OH, MY GOSH (We weren't much for the abusive language) LET ME GET EVERYONE." "HEY, MOM, DAD, KITTY, LARRY, ARLO, SHELLIE, LOY, BOYD, GARY, KYLE, CHRIS, (some brothers, sisters, mostly neighbors) "IT'S ROY ON THE PHONE. HE'S CALLING FROM MICHIGAN." "HELLO, ROY? CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

Now that was an event! Yes, it was special when Grandma and Grandpa would use that "1" in front of the number to call from Kamas (16 miles by road, about 10 as the crow flies) or cousins would call from Provo (27 miles down the canyon) or from the "city"-- Salt Lake (44 miles). But it was really a community event when someone would ring from exotic places that required the area code.

Phone calls were exciting! It was like Christmas morning! Never knowning what you were going to unwrap. Anticipating! Wondering who wanted to talk to you so badly they put their finger in the rotary dial: spinning the "6"... waiting as it clicked back. ti... ti...ti... ti... ti... ti... Then the "5"... ti... ti... ti... ti... ti.... "4"... ti... ti....ti...ti... ti.... "1"... ti... "0"... ti... ti...ti....ti...ti...ti...ti...ti....ti...ti.... "0"... ti...ti...ti...ti...ti...ti...ti...ti...ti....ti...ti... "7"... ti...ti...ti...ti... ti... ti... It was adventure to call... even more to be on the receiving end! Well, except when you had that feeling that your mom was talking to your teacher. "Oh, hi Mr. Cowley, (Mrs. Allred, Mrs. Meacham, Mrs. Furner, Mrs. Wright.) Sure, I have a few moments. No, I wasn't aware of what happened in school today. He did what? To who? And what did he tell you? No, I can guarantee you he doesn't do that around here. No, I was unaware that a tetherball could lift someone off their feet. I'm sure he didn't mean.... Yes, that would qualify as outrageous behavior. I know the school is three stories. He did what? Oh, I'll bet that made a big mess. I'm sure the stains will come out their dresses. I'll talk to their parents. No, I don't think it was funny either. But he said that? Oh, don't worry, I think we can eliminate that from his vocabulary tonight. No, I don't think he'll sit on your desk again. In fact, I don't think he'll want to sit DOWN again for a week. Yes, I will take care of this right now. Thank you for letting me know. Remember, you can call me anytime if anything else happens. What? One more thing? His homework? I didn't think he had any. Oh, really? A report on Early Utah Settlers? No, I wasn't aware of it. Yes, he did have to work at the bakery but he had plenty of time afterward to play baseball. No, he wouldn't have had to go to the library, we have encyclopedias right here at the house. Yes, There may be a communication gap. But don't worry- I'm about to close that gap right now! Thank you for calling" click "Ah, Kent, could you come here for a moment?"

Of, course, the above example is just hypothetical. That's what it would have sounded like in someone's home if that someone had had some of the elementary teachers at North Elementary in Heber, Utah. Not that it ever happened to me.

Anyway, the point is: When the phone was an exotic means of communications: usually reserved for the in-town rings or the special, once-a-year call from family, we had an excuse for not keeping in touch.
But what's my excuse now?
Sunday night I rang my mom's house and my brother-in-law picked up. This is the brother-in-law who was a good friend long before he started dating my sister. The brother-in-law I worked with for a couple years before I got married. The brother-in-law I confided in when I had questions about my own relationships. We were close. In fact, his second child is named after me. He was the friend who worked out with me, hung out with me. We chatted in rooms before there were "chat rooms." But now, distance has driven distance between us. We never talk. Never e-mail. Never message. Never "chat." I have a cell phone, he has a cell phone, I have a computer, he has a computer, I have a couple e-mail addresses, so does he, and yet it was the equivalent of a wrong number, happen-chance, that we even spoke.

I love him to death. But I'm apparently too busy communicating to stay in touch.